3:15, 3:30, 3:45, etc.

Akila got up at 3:15 this morning, and never went back to bed. I'm tired. The kids are tired. Michael is tired. It is amazing how one child can affect the entire family. She has been sleeping pretty well since we switched her off of the Dexedrine to Ritalin. This was happening fairly regularly last spring before the switch.

I knew this was coming. Out of the blue, last night at bedtime, she announced that if she woke up in the middle of the night, she was going to come down to the family room to play. I said no, that would not work, and that if she woke up, to lay in bed until she fell back asleep. She argued with me and started to rage, and that was that. So 3:15, she comes sauntering into my room wide awake. There is no putting her back to bed when this happens, believe me, I have tried.

If I make her go to her room, I am guaranteed to have all 4 kids awake in less than 30 minutes. I have even tried during several of these occasions, to lie down with her in her room, or have her come into our bed (which I hate doing). Doesn't work. So, she came to the family room, and woke me up all night, or should I say morning?, about every 15 minutes with things like this:

• There is a giant centipede with a pointy back
• Will you make me some pancakes
• Is it a school day?
• Do you know where the DVD remote is?
• It is raining (she woke up before the rain and thunder started)
• Is it a school day? (again)
• Can you come help me?
• I need a band-aid ( which she can get herself at anytime)

I think around 6:30, is when she woke up the other 3 kids for sure. It sounds like she had tried a few times before that. When I got up, they were all 4 in Akila's room watching a movie on the mini DVD player (which Akila had gotten out of our room while we slept). She also had my cell phone, and had been in my purse and gotten gum. Lovely.

It was not a very fun morning, and I tried to be patient. Hezekiah spilled his juice all over in the dining room and I didn't react very well. I didn't yell psychotically like I wanted to do, I just chastised him for not telling me right away. This is my pet peeve, when they spill, and don't react quickly to turn the glass back over, run for a towel, or at the very least yell for mom.

I am going to school this morning to meet with Akila's new teacher to give her some more info about Akila. She has been really good so far which is typical. She is taking it all in, the newness of a new classroom. Thankfully, she has never been her worst at school though, she saves the rages and really out of control behavior for home, which is how I should want it to be, but I really don't. Obviously, I don't want her to be out of control at all. Afterschool has been challenging already, I'm counting down until the afterschool brochure comes out; I may have to ask about that today (and then come home and take a nap).

Homework Blues

So, after 5 days of school, I am fed up with homework- and we hardly have any. I am of course talking about homework with Akila. In her first homework packet, which came home on Friday, there is just a list of spelling words, and a reading log in which she has to write about her reading twice a week. I sat down with her to do this on Sunday, and it was not fun.

Monday night was even worse. During dinner, I told her we were going to do homework after we finished cleaning up dinner, and told her she could have some time to play first. Michael did homework with Imani and Hezekiah first, as it does not work to have Akila working on homework at the same time as the other kids.

I came down to get her when it was her turn, and she started to rage. We went round and round awhile. I explained to her that if she didn't sit down to do homework with me, that she would have to go to her room for the rest of the night. This enraged her even more. I told her she could choose a book to read, she could read it to me, or not, I would sit with her, I would read my own book, etc. Nothing was appealing to her. She just sat or stood there and threw stuff and called me names. I remained really calm, on the outside.

After much monkey business, she finally sat down with a book, at least 30 minutes after this fiasco started. Then, she wasn't really reading, but just flipping through the pages. We also have issues over where she would like to do her homework. Our dining room table is not the most ideal, the table is a bit shaky, no matter how much we have tried to stabilize it. I have been begging for a new table for awhile now, maybe for my 40th birthday coming up next month. Or not. Akila has a desk in her bedroom, she doesn't like doing it in there either. I sometimes make a homemade desk with a stool and a little chair we have, and put it in whatever room is interesting to her. The things I do for her, sometimes drive me nuts. I fell like I'm always having to bend over backwards, because I guess I am. Ridiculous.

Anyway, she sometimes likes to do it on the couch or on my bed with a clip board. Last night we were on the couch with a clip board. When it was time to write the name and author of the book on her sheet, she flipped out, saying that the paper hurts her arm.?? What?? I tried to have her explain this to me, and she just got furious, name calling and yelling. I suggested we sit at the table, desk or something else. This made her mad. Then I suggested that she wear her sweatshirt so the paper would not touch her arm, and she yelled, "Duh, that's what I was saying". She said nothing close to that, but OK, now we're getting somewhere. She gets her coat on and starts to write with a serious attitude.

She now needs to flip the paper over, to write about what she just read. I tell her, "Turn the sheet over please.", and she starts to freak out. She begins to yell and goes nuts, saying that she is going to get a paper cut, and she is genuinely freaked out to get a paper cut. I then tell her to rethink how she could politely ask for help. She does so, with an attitude. I eventually flip the sheet over, the paper is maybe within 6 inches of her as I flip it over, and she practically falls off of the couch while angrily yelling at me that I almost gave her a paper cut. It was not even close. I was trying really hard not to laugh, and she could see that and got really mad at me.

It was not fun, I don't think we are going to be able to do homework very much this year. Michael and I were talking about it later that night, and she definitely is not capable of doing very much of it on a school night. Last year, I was about to talk with her teacher to say that we wouldn't be able to do homework anymore, and that is when we started her on medication. We were able to do the homework for the most part, but only on the weekends right after she had taken her meds. We would do her entire homework packet on Saturdays.

The other challenge with it, is that her comprehension skills are low and writing about something she has just read, is difficult. When they do the neuro-psychological testing with her, one of the tests is reading a short paragraph to her and then having her answer questions about it. She always would do very poorly at this. She could only answer the questions when prodded and given verbal clues. This from the girl who can remember the exact spot that she had an owie when she was 2 years old.

Nice Message for Mom

I guess I'm going to do 3 posts a day now, trying to catch up. This is a quick one. I have spent the last few days deep cleaning the kids bedrooms. I did Akila's room on Tuesday, the boys yesterday and Imani's today. Imani has a chalk board in her room that all the kids like to write on from time to time. Today, I found this message from Akila:

If you can't read it, it says " I want to go to stay at my birth mom's. Akila". I know that I will probably be hearing a lot of these kind of lines from her in the upcoming years. I'm sure she wrote it last week one day when she was furious with me and was saying that over and over. Then she came downstairs and wanted to do enough chores to earn $600. I had told her a long while ago that plane tickets cost at least $600. Pretty sure she had some plans. She of course didn't do enough chores to earn fifty cents, but she got a little bit done.

Zeke's First Day of Kindergarten

Last night, while we were eating supper, Zeke asked if they could go to bed right after dinner so kindergarten day would get here sooner. I thought it was a great idea, but none of the other kids did. He was super excited for school to start today. I forgot to give the boys their asthma meds and I went in their room to give it to them, less than 5 minutes after I tucked them in, and he was sleeping already. What a cutie.

He got up this morning, and was ready to go in 5 minutes. I drove the kids to school so I could see Zeke and wow, I can't explain how adorable he was. He by far was my most excited kid to start kindergarten. None of my 4 kids were nervous, scared or apprehensive on their first day (or any others). None of them clung to me or cried. But none of them were as excited as Zeke. What a doll!!! That is what I always call him, he doesn't like it. Here are a few pictures of him.

Did I mention that I think this was the most excited I was to have a kid start kindergarten? I got my first ever pedicure, and a haircut today, and I didn't have to pay a babysitter. Wahoo!!

Daily Shots

Last week, we started giving Akila the daily injection of a growth hormone (to help her grow due to her Turner Syndrome). It is going really well. It helps that she is a goofball and absolutely loves shots. We have a difficult time getting her to brush her teeth each night but it has been going well this last week. I am bribing her. She can't get her shot until she brushes her teeth. She flies up the stairs to brush her teeth. I know, that sounds really weird, I think so also. Here are some pictures of her getting her shot, she wanted us to take pictures last night.

Oh yeah, look at her hair, I did it!!! Our neighbor was suppose to do it on Sunday evening and she no-showed. This almost killed me as Akila was antsy all day and when she did not come home, I had to do it. And it was late by that time. This was my first attempt at extensions and it isn't too bad. :)

Last Day of Summer

On the last day of summer, otherwise known as Labor Day, I took the kids to swim at Lake Harriet. This is Imani's lake (my kids middle names are after Mpls. lakes) and the last one we needed to hit before summer is over. Zeke's buddy Jonah went with and we had a good time. Hezekiah found a baby turtle at some point and we put it in a bucket to play with for a bit. I told them this would be OK, but that we would not be taking it home. I'm sure it would have been dead within a day at our house.

Well, what fun it was. Akila couldn't stand it. She was completely out of whack as she thought we should release it immediately so it wouldn't die (can you tell we have unintentionally killed a few of God's creatures this summer?). The entire time it was in the bucket while the 5 kids watched it, she was losing it. I could not get her to calm down about it, she wanted it gone. I was in a bit of a quandary as I wanted her to settle down and I knew it would not happen until the turtle was free, but I couldn't do that to the other kids. Let me just say that time was going very slowly and I could not wait to free the turtle from it's misery (or should I say mine).

Here are a couple of pictures of the kiddos and the turtle, they named spikey.

Isn't my Hezekiah handsome!!

One last joyful thing I need to share. The kids were taking baths (did I mention that is what we all have been doing, since our bathroom with the shower is torn apart, I hate baths!) and Imani and Zeke were taking one together; until Zeke threw up in the bathtub. Poor Imani, I can't believe that didn't make her throw up. Did I mention that we had just returned from the Olive Garden? Anyway, sounds like he just choked on some water Imani poured over his head, but he was pretty freaked out. I don't think he has really ever thrown up. Here is a cute picture of him 30 minutes later, he was very upset.

Stilts

I was in Willmar a few weeks ago and stopped by to see the Poss family. Dr. Poss had emailed me that he had found some stilts that we kids had played with in the neighborhood I grew up in and that I could have them. He and I had talked about them when we visited him on the Fourth of July. I stopped by to get them, and he had made two more pair so I came home with three pair of stilts.



What memories they bring back!!! Imani especially likes them, but Akila is getting pretty good on them as well. Hezekiah is the type who if he can't do something right away, he doesn't want to do it forever, and then he will finally learn. That is how he was with riding a bike. All the neighborhood kids have enjoyed them though, here is a picture of Imani on them. Thanks Dr. Poss, we love them!!

I'm Back, Hopefully!

School started today, I wish you could all see the smile on my face right now. Zeke, my youngest, will start kindergarten on Thursday, so I have one more day to spend with him and then I will be alone. Last night, we went out to the Olive Garden for dinner. Out of the blue, Zeke started talking about how lonely mom is going to be and how she hates being alone in the house. I kept having him repeat it as it seemed so ludicrous to me. I have never said that and I never would. Don't get me wrong, there is a part of me that is always a bit sad to see them go off to kindergarten, but it is a very small part of me.

Most people know that I have been counting down the days til school started. Aaahhh. I made it, and we are all alive. The morning went really well, Akila in particular was quite excited to go to school, today at least. I pray that will continue as long as possible. Here is a picture of the three of them on their first day:

Zeke and I got a lot done today and went out for lunch. We got a new backpack for him which he is thoroughly excited about. I took advantage of the kids being gone and went through Akila's room which I have not really done all summer. I usually do this once a month or so, but I can't do it when she is home, it never works. We don't keep any toys in her room, but I found a lot!! And many other treasures. Ugh. Zeke helped me and he was adorable, wearing his new backpack while he vacuumed. What a cutie!!

Notice the walls in Akila's room? When we switched rooms last fall due to trying to give Akila her own room, she moved into the boys old room which had dark blue wall paper (from previous owners). I told her all year we would peal it in the summer. Here is how far we got:

Actually, we did one other wall which does not have much space, there are two doors on it. I have peeled wall paper in many rooms, and this junk is the hardest!!! I think they used super glue. I'm not sure what I was thinking that we could get a project done in the summer. It is my new fall project, for after I get the house caught up and organized from 3 months of terror.

I will end with this picture that Zeke took. Do you think he likes his new back pack?

Aunt Betty

This is a picture of my Aunt Betty, who passed away on August 9. She lived in Washington, Iowa with my Uncle Owen. She was a lovely lady who always seemed like Grandma to me (my dad's folks died when I was young, I have very few memories of them). Owen and Betty lived on a farm and I loved to visit there when I was a kid. Betty was an amazing cook and was always making sure everybody was taken care of. She and Owen raised 3 beautiful women; Janice, Judy and Jolene and I had the privilege of seeing them all at Betty's funeral.

My brother Tom and I drove together to Iowa for her services. My brother Tony, who lives in Virginia, and his son Tim made the long drive as well (along with my cousin Rick). It was nice to get to see Tony, I hadn't seen him since my mom died 3 1/2 years ago- too long. I did not bring any kids with and it was really nice to get to spend time in conversations with adults, especially my cousins and relatives I had not seen in years. My Uncle Owen has always had a special place in my heart, he is a very friendly man who has a sparkle in his eye and smiles a lot. I was blessed to have some really good time with him remembering his lovely wife. I will treasure my 3 days in Iowa!!!

I returned from Iowa on a Thursday night, and left Friday night after bedtime for Willmar, for my once a year girls weekend. I was bummed out on the timing and was feeling guilty for leaving Michael after I had just returned, but I got over it quickly. Especially when I was water skiing all weekend, it felt great and everyone survived without me.

This past weekend was a busy one as well. The kids and I drove to Albert Lea on Friday to meet Hezekiah's foster grandma, we call her Grandma Von. She lives in northern Iowa and we try to meet her every other year or so. She is a precious woman, I believe she is in her 70's. We have not seen her for over 3 years, and when we got out of the car, she knew each one of my kids names, pronounced them all correctly (which is difficult for most people), and knew which kid was who. That is amazing. We had some great fellowship with her.

When we left Albert Lea, we drove straight to Akila's friends house in the cities. Emma's family offered to take all four of our kids for an overnight to give Michael and I a break. What a blessing!!!! Michael and I went out for dinner, saw Indiana Jones, and worked on tearing our bathroom apart (bathtub tiles have been falling down, turning into major project-ugh). It was a very peaceful and productive 24 hours!!!! Thanks Emma, Rachel, John and Lori!!! The kids had a blast!!!

We picked the kids up from their house to go straight to Dan and Tara's home (Michael's brother) for the summer birthday celebration. Got home after bedtime last night and spent the day today trying to recover from all of the excitement. We are all definitely ready for school to start. I am looking forward to being able to blog more regularly!!

Akila was pretty good today. Bedtime has not been very fun lately though. After I had put her down, she came out and in a very rude and accusatory voice, commanded me to move her fan closer to her cuz she couldn't feel it. It is so hard to remain calm and not go psycho when she speaks like this. Understand, this is after close to 30 minutes of abusive behavior from her, shortly after I leave her room and am so relieved the day is over. 9 days until school starts. Can't wait!

Keeping Busy

Not sure if I have mentioned this, but I am ready for school to start. Kari has a widgit thingie on her blog that counts down to the first day of school, down to the seconds. 27 days to go. Can't wait. I did mention the neighborhood challenges we have had with Akila and they are not getting any better. So needless to say, we are not home much.

I think my husband thinks I'm crazy, on the run all the time. But I can't stand to be home for an entire day. The best thing, is that my best girlfriend, Juli, bought a boat last week, and it came with a slip on Lake Minnetonka. I grew up on a lake boating daily in the summer and have been on the boat 3 times this week with her. Twice with all our kids, she has 4 like I do (although two of them are teenagers, and great helpers). It is a little crazy with all the kids, especially last night. Akila was not cooperating. Not fun.

Akila's 9th birthday was on Tuesday, and I am glad it is over. The two weeks or so leading up to it were getting long, several rages over the fact that "today" was not her birthday and her birthday was taking too long. Tomorrow is the combined birthday party for her and Imani, who's 8th birthday was on June 30. I will really be glad when it is over.

One of the gifts we got Akila is a mannequin head that they use in beauty school. Akila is obsessed with doing hair and those Barbie heads or toy ones, have nasty hair that tangles. This did not cost much more than the toy head, and the hair should last longer. Akila loves it. The bummer, is that it is quite ugly. She doesn't seem to notice though. Check it out:

In two weekends, a mom of one of Akila's friends has offered to take all four of our kids for an overnight. What a blessing. This lady grew up with a mom who did foster care and an adopted brother with FASD, so she really gets it. I am very thankful for her. I know that when Akila goes to her house, she gets it. I have of course not told my kids yet, and I won't until the day of, maybe the day before. A lesson learned.