I'm ready

I added a countdown clock to my blog for the first day of school. I am so ready. I was at the school yesterday for a meeting, and the teachers all thought I was crazy as I told them there were 25 days left. Can't wait.

I have not been blogging much, as it has been nutso at our house. Not to mention that it is dance registration time so I am spending hours on the computer everyday and have no energy left to blog on the computer as well. Why didn't anyone tell me how much work puppies are? Hibeam is our first dog as adults for Michael and I, and we don't really remember many of the details of training them, since I"m sure our parents did the majority of it. Hibeam is doing well, and is adorable. And tiring me out. I honestly did not know that I had to get up in the middle of the night to let them go potty. Nice.

Akila has one more week of summer school and then we will have two full weeks of nothing. I am a little nervous for those two weeks. Hopefully it will be really nice out so we can be at the beach/pool a lot, or at some friend's cabins. Anyone out there??? :)

Akila has been going through a graffitti art stage that I am not really appreciating. Here are a few pictures:

This first one is a sewing table that was my mother-in-laws. She carved her initial in it. It is trully a family heirloom now. The kids don't even know there is a sewing machine in it, and I'm not going to tell them. I like them to sew with Grandma Kathy!!!

This is on our deck railing, Prince is the name of the dog that is in the yard the deck overlooks.


This is on the outside wall on the deck.

These are just a few lovely scratches on the stair railing going upstairs.

As I sit at the dining room table, I see some words carved in the side of the table as well. Too lazy to take pictures and post them also.

Akila turned 10 last week. We are going to have an overnight slumber party with a handul of girls next Friday night. The other 3 kids are going to Uncle Dan and Aunt Tara's for the night. And the best news, is that a group of teenage girls from the dance studio are coming to help, and I think they might stay over also. This is so cool, as I need my teenage fix! I love teenagers. I know that will change a bit when I have four of my own, but I have always loved teenagers. And these young ladies are really fun.

Good week

As I posted, we had a rough week or two in a row. This past week, Akila was pretty good- praise the Lord!!! I am really thankful for this in particular due to the fact that I had low energy and was not running at 100%. The puppy has been wearing me out, emotionally and physically.

Toward the end of last week, Michael had been noticing that Hibeam has had several moments of strong aggressive behaviors, and he was worried about it. I kept telling him that I thought that was fairly normal. On Sunday, he and Imani brought Hibeam to a puppy training class at Petsmart which goes for 6 weeks. The trainer, who is really good, noticed Hibeam's aggressive behavior and talked with Michael after class. She said that it could be neurological and to be prepared for that. She really wanted us to know that, especially since we have kids. She said to bring him in the next night for a consultation with her.

Michael was quite freaked out by this. We talked late about it on Sunday. Our main feeling being, that can we handle a dog with neurological issues and a child with them as well, did it make sense, etc. Hibeam is a really cute and fun puppy, but he once in awhile goes "kujo" on us, mainly when he has something he really wants, usually food related. Like a rawhide. He gets into this serious growling and biting mode if you get close to him at all- it has really scared the kids, and the few times I have seen it, it has actually made me a bit nervous.

We had the consultation on Monday night, and it went really well. She said she recommended giving it a few weeks, and showed us several training things to do with him. He is a super smart dog who picks up really quick on the training things. He has had a better week and we are really hopeful, we would all be devastated if we could not keep him-and especially Imani who has wanted a dog obsessively for years.

Then, on Thursday morning, we wake up and he is sick. He had started with some mild diarrhea on Wednesday, and on Thursday, had real diarrhea and a wet face from drooling to the point where he was laying in a pool of saliva. He was not eating. Brought him to the vet and learned he has a viral infection. He is on meds, and seems to be getting better, but it is hard to watch him like this, and a lot of work!!!

Akila is still struggling with keeping him in the mud room or kennel if he is not being played with or watched, although she is doing a little better with it this week. Imani had a sleepover at a friend's house on Thursday night. After we dropped her off, Akila went into hysterics sobbing that she wanted to go on a sleepover. I explained (for the hundredth) time, that if she was invited by a family that mom and dad approve of, she could go. She doesn't get this. Then she finally realized her best shot may be to have someone over to sleepover.

We tried calling one friend but got no answer. Then we realized that Maria next door would be a great option and thankfully, that worked out. Akila and Maria played very nicely together, and had no issues. It was very nice. I do have to say, that it was kind of heartbreaking when she was crying, as it was just a reminder of how socially out of it she is. Imani has several friends who invite her to do things and Akila does not have this, for good reasons. I am also really thankful for Imani's friends, as their parents are pretty understanding of the fact that we cannot very often do things at our house due to the Akila factor.

Hezekiah is doing great and pretty much back to normal after his tonsil surgery. We are just waiting for some really warm weather so we can get out on the lake or to the beach. I was telling my friends this week, that if it is not going to be warm enough to go to the beach or the pool, then bring on school. The beach and pool are the only things that get me through summer.

Much going on

Well things have been quite crazy at our house the last few weeks. Here are just a few highlights:

• We got the new puppy, July 4th.
• Akila went to camp for 5 nights, and did really well
• The same night Akila returned from camp, my brother Tony, his wife Joan and two of his three kids, Lori (14) and Tim (17) came to stay at our house for 4 nights (from Virginia)
• Michael had a birthday, happy birthday Babe!
• Hezekiah had his tonsils removed, last Thursday and is still recovering
• I have been working quite late each night on the dance fall brochure
• Akila has been having a very difficult time behaviorally

I think I missed a few things, but that is plenty. Akila did a really nice job at camp, and has had a very hard time returning home. She definitely needs structure, and I just can't provide that at home all day and night. She started her summer enrichment class last week by Stages Theatre, a Wizard of Oz class at our school. I had to actually physically restrain her twice today which I hate doing as much as she hates having it done.

She is having a very difficult time with the dog. She can't stand it when the dog cries or yelps, like it does when it is in the mud room or in the kennel. The rule is, that it has to be in one of those two spots when someone is not playing with him or watching him. She can't stand Hibeam being locked up, it seems totally unjust to her. So she keeps letting him out, not watching him, and he of course poops or pees in the house then. Another rule is that he is locked up while we are eating since we can't be watching him and don't want him jumping up on us as we eat. She can't handle this either. She shoves her food down in a split second, goes to the family room, lets him out, and then goes outside to play, leaving him unattended.

We have sat her down, calmly talked to hear about the dog rules, the reasons, etc. But she just doesn't get it. Even if the dog is in one of his two spots, and isn't upset, she can't stand it. Her hysterics has been making the dog cry even. It is going to be a long first few months while she gets use to the dog rules and he gets trained.

I signed all 4 of my kids up for a membership at the newly remodeled YMCA in north Mpls, it is great. $30 annual membership, and it is open from 11-8 in the summer, you can drop the kids off anytime and they are fully supervised and structured (swimming, exercising in a really cool arcade that only has exercise fitness machines, gym games, arts and crafts, etc.). Akila loves it, and we just started going last week. This is where the three kids were going to go while Hezekiah had his surgery last week.

Akila was at the Wizard of Oz program in the morning, and I picked her up to go to the YMCA, which she loves, remember. The entire drive, she was raging that she didn't want to go. I explained that she could not come to the hospital as they said siblings are not allowed (not that I would have ever had her come with), but she loves hospital stuff. She didn't care, she wanted me to bring her home and she would find Sarah, our neighbor girl, to babysit. I said I wasn't going to pay a sitter when she could go to the Y and have tons of fun. She went nuts. And did the entire time, even at the Y. We finally got out of there and got to the hospital.

I went and picked the kids up at 6:00 (they were there since 11:30) and brought them to the hospital to see Hezekiah in recovery-he really wanted them to see his IV and I knew they would love it too. Michael stayed with Hezekiah while I got the kids. They all 4 loved seeing each other at the hospital. We left about 7:30 and all got home at 8:00, to discover that Hibeam had gotten out of his gated area and peed and pooped all over the house, and chewed up a few things (not too bad though). So Michael and Imani cleaned up potty messes while I got Hezekiah situated. Akila went into rage mode and the evening was out of control.

Friday morning wasn't any better. Michael was getting Akila off to the school bus as I had been up a few times giving Hezekiah medicine and letting the dog out. Hezekiah had come in early and fell asleep in bed with me. Akila came in asking me where her dance sweatshirt was. I said I didn't know. She raged, hit me, called names, etc. I didn't move as Hezekiah was sleeping on me and even her hysterics weren't waking him up. Thinking back, I probably could have readjusted him and gotten her out to deal with, but come on!!!!!! After 5 minutes of being crazy, she left and slammed the door. Then she returned 10 minutes later raging even worse because dad had told her to get her shoes on and it wasn't time yet. She wanted me to go tell him it wasn't time yet. She went on and on for quite awhile like this.

After Hezekiah got up, I went downstairs to see my husband looking and feeling like I do 75% of the mornings- deflated and wiped out, by 8:30 am. All weekend she has been acting very poorly. I am praying for a peaceful Sunday.

Welcome Hibeam!!!

Well, I have been upgraded (or downgraded depending on how you look at it) from psycho mom, to psychotic mom; we got a dog. Yes, we are crazy; we actually got a puppy and he is the cutest puppy ever!!! His name is Hibeam, which is the first letter of all of our first names- bizarre, I know. Hibeam is a GoldenDoodle. Here are some pictures:

Hibeam is a very smart dog we have learned, he already has learned to sit on command. :) The kids and I were in Willmar for our annual two night stay at the Poss families on Eagle Lake and we got home on Saturday afternoon. Michael picked the dog up on Friday and spent the first night bonding with it. The kids did not know, so it was a surprise when we got home yesterday. They were quite surprised. Imani has been begging for a dog for years, and she said that she felt like she was living in a dream.

Of course, it did not take long to be fighting over the dog. Akila is very good and kind with animals, but like everything, she goes the the extreme and hyper-focuses on it. When the dog is sleeping on the floor, she yells at anyone who talks in the same room, no matter how much we explain to her that it is OK. She sits next to the dog and yells at the others when they try to pet it, saying that they are hurting him. We anticipated this of course, but it is still annoying.

We dropped Akila off this afternoon at Camp Ihduhapi in Loretto until Friday thanks to my friend Lynne who donated the week camp to us. This is really good timing for a couple of reasons. First off, I am stressed to the max with her after travelling to Willmar with her for the past several days. We had plenty of issues. Second, it will be nice to have these first days with the dog without the drama that Akila brings.

We brought Hibeam with for the car ride which took about 30 minutes. He is of course not use to the car so he was crying a little bit and had just a few minor issues. Akila couldn't stand it. She was whacko the entire car ride. The last five minutes, she even started to cry because she wanted Michael to hold the dog instead of Imani and the dog was doing fine. Then she started to act sad about going to camp. I was getting nervous thinking we might have a scene brewing. Thankfully, when we arrived and brought her into her cabin, she got really excited and was ready for us to leave.

Great summer program

Well I am so happy to report that our summer has been going really well. Vacation Bible School was a huge hit last week and the program at a local park that Akila is in from 11-4 each day is great. She loves it and the staff person is excellent. She has gotten to go swimming at the local water park every day, and done lots of fun things.

The other kids are really happy to be home and playing together or with neighborhood kids, and I have been getting stuff done. Yesterday, when it was extremely hot, I spent the afternoon in Akila's bedroom peeling wallpaper. Why you ask would I do this on a hot day? Because there is a window unit air conditioner in Akila's room, and because I have to return the wall paper steamer to my friend in Willmar next week when we go there for ther 4th of July. I always need deadlines to get things done. I have had the steamer for over a year.

On Monday, Akila skipped the park program and we went to Zeke's beach, Cedar Lake (all my kids middle names are after Minneapolis lakes). It was great!!! The water felt great, they swam and played nicely for several hours. Zeke and Imani even caught a fish in their bucket. They tried for at least two hours, and their patience finally paid off. They were very excited. Akila found a few snails, which she was quite excited about. I read a book. It was lovely.

Akila will be going to an overnight YMCA camp July 5-10, I am excited for her. She is on cloud nine as she has always wanted to go to a camp. It will be a nice respite for the rest of us as well. Most people don't understand, that when I say our summer has been going well, that doesn't mean that we don't have a million issues with Akila. That doesn't mean I haven't been hit and called names. It mainly means that the majority of her rages, have been short lived and not escalated into full blown blow-outs.

Summer update

Last week was our first full week of summer, and it went pretty well. No huge issues, but plenty of little ones-especially with the chilly rainy weather. This week, the kids are signed up for the first of three Vacation Bible Schools (VBS), from 9-11:30 each day. Akila is signed up at a program at a local park that is a partnership with the YMCA, a program all summer from 11-4 for free. Yes, I said free. It is one of the benefits to living in the hood and having your house broken into all the time. You get to find some really cool free programs.

Akila is excited for the program, I hope she likes it. I know that I do, and so do the other kids. They have been playing outside all afternoon with the neighbor kids and there has not been a single issue. No hitting, no name calling. It is really nice. After a full week together 24/7, we all needed a break from the issues Akila brings into our family. And as an added bonus, Akila gets to hang out tonight with Angie. What a great start to the week.

Thongs

I took the kids to a Lifetime Fitness outdoor pool yesterday, we do this a lot in the summer as it is included with our membership, so no pool fees. And the pools are really nice, zero depth, waterslides, etc.

I was sitting on a chair reading, and Akila came over to ask for her goggles. I gave them to her, and saw something crazy as she turned around to walk to the pool. She had intentionally pulled her swim suit up her butt cracks to make it look like a thong. Being a great mom, I yelled at her, kind of loudly, but not super loud, to pull her suit out of her butt crack. She turned and gave me the "I've been busted look" and jumped in the pool.

I started to look around to see who at the pool was wearing a thong suit, but didn't see one. I do remember seeing one last year and being kind of grossed out. Later, when she came back, I asked her where she had seen somebody wearing a suit up their butt crack. She didn't want to talk about it and kept looking behind me. I think the person was right behind us, I never got up the courage to look. Hopefully I made them feel as dumb as they looked. Nice.

Nice post

Here is a link to a blog that I like, and I really like this post.

Imani, the shy one??

Imani is my daughter who is fairly quiet and comes off as shy most of the time. She is very well behaved, and when meeting a new person, is pretty quiet. She is not the child that you would expect is a good performer. But she is. She does well at her piano recitals, and is pretty good at plays as well.

Today after school, she wanted to use our camera that takes short videos, and I agreed. Last week, our grandma Kathy gave us a stack of three Guidepost magazines, and I noticed last night that Imani had put them in her bedroom drawer for some reason. Well, she decided to make an infomercial for the magazine today, and it is hilarious, especially if you know Imani. It is about 3 1/2 minutes long, and I don't even know how to edit it to be shorter. So feel free to stop it after a minute or so, but I'm sure you will agree with me on what a cutie pie my daughter is.

School support

Akila has had a great school year, by far her best yet. I am super happy about this, but I wish I could say the same about home. At home, each year gets worse. But I am very thankful that she is doing well at school. I do know that will more than likely change at some point. But I have to share something that may shock many of you, especially those of you who are parents of a child with special needs.

I got an email today from Akila's teacher requesting me to come next week and meet with her IEP team and the Special Ed Director. Sounds scary doesn't it? They want to meet to talk about the possibility of a para in the future for Akila. Should I say that again? The school has initiated this. I can't tell you how thankful I am for all of the support and acceptance that we have gotten from our school. I know tons of parents who have had to fight tooth and nail to get support for their kids, and I have not hit any resistance.

I'm not sure if they are talking about next school year, the teacher mentioned trying to think ahead into middle school, which Akila is one school year away from (she will enter 5th grade next year). But I really appreciate opening up the discussion. Akila's behavior has not been too rough this year, but I think that academically, she is often pretty lost and this is the age where most FASD kids start to plummet as the curriculum gets more abstract. I am just tickled pink that I get to work with a school team that is proactive.