Saturday, January 26, 2008

Instant Anger

Wow, it has been busy lately. Some of you know that I work very part-time for my friend who owns a dance studio doing bookkeeping and logistical work (stop laughing, I know that is not my gift-she is obviously desperate for help). Anyway, my life has been consumed with dance junk the last few weeks and that in and of its self if hilarious (I am the least dancey type of person there is). Tonight is the big Winter Show for the dance studio and Akila and Imani will be performing, they are very excited.

I have said this before but Akila has definitely been getting more difficult the last few months. She does this thing where she gets instantly angered over every tiny little thing and flies off the handle. Her immediate reaction to any frustration she encounters is to name call and try to hit or shove. A few posts ago, I mentioned that she is into name calling. At that time, her favorite names to call were "stupid head" and "dumb head", and that I was dreading when she might start using worse names. She is definitely progressing, and not in a good way. The last several weeks her favorites have been "moran" and "idiot". I learned yesterday that she called one of her teachers the "B" word and has been calling her an idiot. Siiiiiggggghhhh. When I tried to talk to her about this last night, in a very calm and non-accusing manner, she went nuts on me. Started yelling, raging, and I couldn't even get her to discuss it in a rational manner (and why does that shock me?). Anyway, in her rage, she kept on telling me it is my fault she calls names because I make her so mad. Makes sense. I could not get her to calm down so I told her she would need to go to her room and take some time to settle down. This of course made her more mad and as she was eventually complying, she was walking up the stairs in a rage yelling, "Stop being so nice you idiot!!". It made me realize how she really has no idea what she is saying when she gets like this, she is just grabbing everything that comes into her mind to yell. She was actually mad at me for being nice. She does this quite often. When she is upset about something and I empathize with her, she hates this. It gets her more mad.

Michael and I have always been of the mind set that our society over medicates children who don't fit into the box. When Akila was 3 years old (before she was diagnosed with FASD or anything else), we were at an initial meeting with a Neurologist. Before even meeting Akila, and only after listening to us for about 10 minutes, he was ready to give us an Rx for Ritalin. She was a unique child, but by no means needing medication at that point. I have been coming to the realization that I think we may need to try it though. Michael is not at the same point. We have decided that I will meet with our Pediatrician this week and get the information on it. I feel like we are at the point where we need to try to see if it indeed helps her. Please pray for direction in this area for us.

Well, that is all for now. I must get back to being an office manager and get money ready in the cash boxes for the big event. It is pretty funny for an abstract random youth worker to be doing work that should be done by a concrete sequential accountant type. But it fits well with my schedule and I can tell my boss what is actually on my mind.


Jeri said...

Our son, while not diagnosed with FAS, does have PTSD (don't you just love acronyms?) and what has worked more than any other kind of therapy for him is play therapy. He can actually regulate, he apologizes after he's done something to hurt our feelings or just been a jerk.

What you wrote about happening with Akila in the parking lot...we are only human, we are going to lose it sometimes. Our kids need to see that we can apologize later for not being perfect...takes quite a load off of them when they do see us as humans. Hang in there, Jeri mom to Alex from Sumy, Ukraine

Sheri said...

Sounds like she could make some use of a mood stabilizer more than a stimulant like ritalin.

I wrote a post about medication. . . get educated and find a really good doctor. . .

Many prayers are being sent to you

Anonymous said...

Dude, you're already giving her Dexadrine and that's speed. Stimulants tend to have a paradoxical effect on pre-pubescent children, calming them down instead of causing agitation as they do in adults. Don't worry about it. Pile on the meds and maybe one of them will zonk her out so she's not destroying your family any more than she already has.
And don't worry about drinking sparkling juice out of wine glasses. Get yourself a jelly glass and fill it to the brim with vodka. You'll find you'll tolerate A's behavior a whole lot better when you're half in the bag.