Friday, January 23, 2009


My to do list is too long, blogging had been on it for two weeks. I'm finally ready for some updates.

The good news, the kind that you hate to say or write as to not jinx yourself. Akila has been having the best school year of her last 3 years. She is in 4th grade and has been doing really well. Typically, each year in November, she starts to go down hill. This has not happened and I am so happy and relieved.

On the home front, we still struggle greatly as her meds have worn off and late afternoons and evenings are rough. But, they seem to not be quite as bad as a year ago. I think we have made enough changes in the way we do things, and the way we react to things, that it doesn't seem quite as bad. I am no longer stuck to the notion of having Akila sit through a meal with the entire family. We are more successful if some nights, we let her eat in a different room or at a different time.

She has more recently started to be mean at her dance class. There was a complaint this week from a mother who's daughter had never given the letter I had written to her mom. It was still in her dance bag. After she found out about Akila, she was very understanding. Most Wednesdays when we have dance, I have been hiring our neighbor boy to watch the other 3 kids while I drive Akila to dance and drop her off (it is between a 20-25 minute drive). This has greatly improved her behavior in the van. When the other kids are there, she is horrific and mean to them and rages over every little thing. Like if someone looks at her. Or if someone tries to sing along to Hannah Montana. Or if someone doesn't see something she is trying to point out that we are passing by.

This Wednesday, I volunteered at school all day and helped with hearing and vision screening. We all went straight from school to dance. The other 3 kids and I then went to the health club and I exercised. We then picked Akila up and drove home. The drive consisted of constant rages, she hit two of the kids, and I finally had to pull off of the highway. It was horrible. Then when we got home, at bedtime, she was too wound up to sleep.

Imani has Magnetix toys that she likes to play in bed with a little as she is falling asleep. Akila can faintly hear the clicking noise of the magnets coming together and loses it every time Imani trys to play with her Magnetix. Being a mom who half the time just wants to avoid confrontation and rages, I usually have Imani put he Magnetix away. It just so happened that this evening, Imani was messing a bit with her Magnetix. Michael went up to deal with the situation and Imani asked him why she had to put them away.

Michael said because Akila would rage. Imani said "let her rage". Michael agreed. An hour later, Akila was still raging. I have no problem with standing up for a principle with Akila sometimes, but it just did not seem like the best night to do it, when she had been worked up all night already. It was a long night.

The van ride had wore me out. Akila is very into trying to scream hurtful and horrible things. Like "I wish you were never alive", "You're ugly", "Daddy's better", and some that I can't print. I really don't have issues with this hurting my feelings as I know she doesn't mean it. What is hard, is for the other kids to have to hear it. I speak to them about it quite often. But it sucks that they have to deal with this stuff. It is bad enough that Akila has to.

1 comment:

Torina said...

I'm going to share something , I just heard about but have not had the good fortune to try :) I don't remember who suggested it as it was in the comments of another blog...she suggested that you always keep ice cream on hand at home and when your kid that faithfully rages starts going at it, everyone in the house gets ice cream. She said it only took one time and it fixed her kid's rages. Of course, every kid is different and it wouldn't work if you are driving to dance class...but it would be a fun one to try at home because really, who needs an excuse to eat ice cream? :)Let me know if you try it :) We don't deal with the rages much anymore so hopefully I will never have to use it.