Wednesday, May 27, 2009

After school rage

Akila walked in the door today in a huff. This morning, she woke me up at 6:15 and needed help on the computer. I usually wake my kids up at 7:15 to get ready for school. I went downstairs to help her, and Imani and Zeke were up. Akila had woke them up, don't know what time. Michael was in the shower, and when he got out he told me that he got up at 5:30 and Akila was already up. After they left for school, I went into Akila's room and found potato chips, and the mini DVD player. I think she had been up for quite awhile.

Normally, when she does this, she doesn't seem to be affected the next day. Today, she was. She walked in the door in a rage, and she was taking it out on Imani. I got Imani away from her, and could not get her to calm down. I was freaking out inside as tonight was the K-5 concert at school and all four kids were singing at it. I couldn't imagine Akila going, in the current state. I tried several angles to talk her down. No luck. Sent her to her room to calm down, which doesn't really work either, but I can't stand being around her for very long when she is like this. She was kicking and hitting me, and was totally out of control.

I wanted to try and give her some medication that the Dr. has said we can try in the late afternoon, Clonidine. She was refusing to take it. She was like this for quite awhile. I finally got out the camera and was trying to capture her rage and I am trying to upload it for you all to see a little taste of a rage. By the time I got the camera, her rage was not as severe. She had started to perseverate on wanting clear fingernail polish, which of course we don't have. We have every color under the sun, but the clear stuff we have has glitter in it and she wanted clear. What next.

The video is about 4 minutes long and you don't really see her much as I was trying to stay clear as to not get kicked. At one point, I'm not sure if you can tell when she is in her room and the door is closed, she is kicking the door. Also, all the stuff on the floor are things she has thrown at me (not that there isn't crap all over on the floor at our house). In the end, she is mad that the camera is on, which I guess I can't blame her for. I have the hardest time not going into the red zone with her when she acts like this. My natural instinct is to yell at her and get really stern, which only escalates her behaviors. Many people might watch this and say that I am being too appeasing. I say live with her for two weeks and then tell me what you think.

She did eventually take the medication, and it did seem to help her calm down. We made it to the concert, they all did really well, and we snuck out as soon as they were done singing, which is when Akila was starting to lose it. On the way to the car, she went nuts a little once again. She was calling us a new name; pompous morons. That made us laugh.



7 comments:

Titus 2 Thandi said...

Nothing shows up here but anyway, I'm amazed you still seem 'sane' in your posts considering the things you go through :) You remind me to count my blessings.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad she's never had a rage with me! Watching that whining and tantrum, ugh, I don't know how you do it!
~angie

Anonymous said...

I really don't know how you stay so calm. You amaze me, really you do!

When Short Pants came to us, and brought his violent outbursts, I had to institure the rule that if he tried to hurt me I would hurt him back! All I ever did was slap his butt, and it made him mad, but he learned quick that he didn't try to hurt me. All I could figure was that if I didn't teach him that concept by spanking his rear end, a police officer would someday teach it with a baton and handcuffs...

GG said...

Poor pompous moron Mom (that is funny!), poor out of control Akila. You have a hard job, both of you. It is so sad to think that some kids did not get what they needed before they were born and the results are so long reaching...Pray for strength and patience by the boatload.

Unknown said...

I feel so sad for her. And I was wondering what you were thinking while you remained so calm. Praise the Lord for your love and devotion.

the johnson crew said...

i'd be loosing my mind barb. i'm praying for you. - preston got a super day card every day last week. (i am not sure how gracious his teacher was being, but she seem to think he deserved a superday card!) miracle happens.

Miz Kizzle said...

Yowza! I admire you for staying calm. I see a very rocky road ahead for her. She needs to be medicated but I doubt she'll ever take it voluntarily. There are a lot of Akilas out there and all the love and caring in the world won't fix the problems that were put in place before they were even born.
With her obsession with makeup and sexy clothes I can only cringe to think what the future holds for her.