Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dou*he bag

We are in a really bad place right now. Akila's behavior has been at a new level of yuck. Extremely volatile and explosive. She has been calling us dou*he bags and ba*terds a million times a day. A million times a day. It really wears on you. To respond to the name calling, is futile. To punish, is futile. She started on a new med last week, Tenex, and I'm not sure yet if it is making her more nutty or helping. I have to give it several more days before we can decide as it takes at least a week before you can tell they say.

One evening last week, it was discovered that Akila had taken all of Imani's Easter candy. Akila fessed up and apologized. That evening, I let Imani finish off the bag of jelly beans that I had left. the next morning before school, I was getting ready to give Akila her meds. She was in a really good mood, Michael had just been complimenting her on how well she was doing. Then she somehow asked about the bag of jelly beans that she knew I had left over. I said they were gone and Imani said she ate them all. Akila went ballistic. Totally ballistic. Through the roof ballistic. Foaming at the mouth ballistic. Bouncing back and forth between Michael and I like we were boxing pads ballistic, punching the two of us in the gut ballistic. She totally lost it.

She refused to take her meds until she got the jelly beans. She could not see the logic in that the jelly beans were gone. She saw the empty jelly bean bag. She understood that she had eaten all of Imani's candy, but she still did not think it was fair that Imani should get to eat the 1/10th of a bag of jelly beans, because she wanted them, and, after all, it is all about her (FASD talking). We stopped trying to reason with her since there is really no sense in trying to reason with a FASD kiddo when they are in a rage. Even though they are trying to engage you in a reasoning discussion, it goes nowhere, and just frustrates all parties.

Needless to say, it was not a pretty morning. Somehow, we got her settled down. Well, settled down is not the right word. But that is just one example of a situation that has reoccurred over and over in the past week or two. It is tiring. The other 3 kids are worn out also. It is making us all nervous for summer. 26 days of school left. My annual countdown has begun. Am I nervous? You betcha. More than ever. I don't think we are going to make it through this summer without a mental health hospitalization. I really don't.


Betsy said...

Thanks for the update. We are praying for you all! If there is anything we can do to serve your fam, please let me know.

Kari said...

I totally understand. Java has been on an "idiot" kick lately. It started during the 3 weeks of NCLB testing at school when she was constantly anxious and dysregulated. Three weeks of that behavior turned it into a habit and now we hear it hundreds of times a day.

She even made up a new swear word. Ushing. As in, "You ushing idiots! I hate all of you ushing idiots!"

Creative...but annoying.

You are right not to engage in a rational discussion when the child with FASD is dysregulated. You might as well be speaking Swahili. I still find myself doing it, but it sure isn't helpful!

Hang in there. You aren't alone if that helps any. ~Kari

GB's Mom said...

UGGGH! I can't imagine my summer if Hope wasn't getting extended year services. (six weeks of full day summer school). Are there any special needs camps within a couple of hours of you?

dorothy said...

Crap. What else is there to say? The good news is that she isn't going to come up with any more offensive words than we learned back in highschool in the 80's so there is nothing that will 'really' stun us. Unless she starts speaking Victorian English....that might throw us all for a loop. Sorry on the punching - if you want to practice blocks with me I'm all for a little TKD.

Keep pressing on...
love you d

AKBrady said...

Geez. Hang in there. Really. Your lurker friend from Alaska (and mom to teenage boy with AS who's been out of the state for 3 yrs due to his toxicity on our family) is listening. You do what YOU think it right for your family. This affects everyone. You included. Ask Dorothy, she'll tell you about our world. Ack. Don't feel guilty. We're thinking about you.