Thursday, May 24, 2012


I have been swamped.  Last week, I did one FASD training for a group of school social workers and two panel speaking events, on top of a zillion other meetings and appointments.  It was a busy week.  This week, I am doing a LEAN event at Children's Hospital Monday-Friday, 8-4 each day.  It has been a crazy couple of weeks.  For the training I did last week, I had to put a good amount of hours into developing the PowerPoint, and I lost an entire afternoon/evening to a migraine (first one I have had in a year- not bad!).  Oh yeah, and the dance recitals are next weekend, so my dance work is in full swing.

We are going to visit Akila this weekend, just a day visit, not staying overnight.  I am looking forward to it.  She has been there 8 weeks, and she absolutely loves it, still.  I even said to her on the phone last week, "So Akila, are you liking it there?"  She said yes immediately and I asked if she was having fun.  She said yes again.  And when she says yes, it is full of enthusiasm.  Not once has she asked to come home, or complained about anything there.

Her case manager says she is one of the better girls they have, which is great.  It honestly has made my emotional roller coaster a more smooth ride, knowing that she is not mad, or struggling with this placement.  It also has not made me feel bad that she doesn't miss home, or want to come home.  It has only reiterated to me that she has significant brain damage.  No typical child would want to be where she is, or would actually enjoy it.

What this has shown me, is that this is the exact kind of structure she needs.  I remember Bonnie Buxton talking in her book, Damaged Angels, about how well her daughter did in a placement that had a ton of structure, I think it was a farm or something like that.  But she could only stay there a year or just over and after she left, went downhill right away.  When Akila was in the crisis home last fall, she still struggled even with the level of structure that they had, which is very similar to a group home.  She still raged.  At this Residential Treatment Center (RTC), she has not been violent or raged once.  She has had plenty of verbal issues, but no raging.

I am so curious to see if this will continue, or if she is just on an extended honeymoon phase.    Meanwhile, I am swamped.  Can't tell you how relieved I am to not have to deal with raging during this really busy few weeks.  I am swampola-ed.


Blessed said...

We are traveling, so I have not been keeping up with the blog reading--no computer in the national parks! : ) but i have been praying for you, barb, and your family. we're out in the midwest now, visiting my parents in IL, and I have to say, i think being so many states closer makes me feel closer to you MN moms--maybe that is why you are on my heart so much. So I am so so glad to hear how well it is going for Akila--and what a blessing that is to you in your time of busyness. May it not be a honeymoon, and may you and akila have this resource as long as she needs it.

he calls me fern said...

Once, when I was a girl, ooo soo long ago, I went tube-ing in the Delaware river. It was in flood.All my friends made it to shore.I was certain of death. But as I clung to a rock I saw two hairy legs standing beside me. The water tho swift was only a little bit deep...So it is now. And I am grateful to have found this place!!THank you.