Friday, January 22, 2010

A few positives about suspension

There are a few nice things about Akila being suspended, here they are:

  • I get to be around her when she is on her meds and much more tolerable.
  • I get to be around her one-on-one. When her siblings are not around, she is less likely to get upset over things and therefore there is much more peace.
  • I have the opportunity to get the other 3 kids off to school in the morning peacefully and it takes a lot less time.
  • I have someone to help me entertain the puppy all day.
  • We are able to get homework done. She is totally incapable of homework on school nights as her meds have worn off and she is totally out of control. Sundays, her medicated time is pretty much taken up by church- we get home about 2:00. Saturdays is the only day that we can possibly get it done, and sometimes we have places to be or other stuff going on, and are not able to get to it. It is impossible to do homework when she is not medicated.
The challenge is not to make this nice for her so she figures out to behave poorly at school means a nice day at home with mom. So far, I know that is not why she has acted up at school- it is the lack of impulse control that has gotten her into trouble and the need to be liked by others. But her short term memory issues are making it hard for her to understand that she is on punishment right now.

She asked if she and I could go somewhere and have a special lunch yesterday. The answer was obviously no, and I explained why for the umpteenth time. She wants me to buy her new tennis shoes, which she needs, and I said no, and I explained why. She wanted a can of pop last night, and I said no, and explained why (we don't let the kids have pop on weekdays, it is a special treat sometimes on the weekends). She wanted to go to the grocery store with me so she could buy a treat, and I said no, and explained why. She wanted to bake with me yesterday, and I said no, and explained why. Today, she will want to do several other special things, and I will say no, and explain why for the umpteenth time again.

I would like to go to the health club today as I desperately need to start going again, but she loves the child care at the club so I am not sure that would be a good idea either. Although, really, she doesn't make the connections that I would want her to, that my other kids would. Maybe we will go, it would be good for my own mental health, that is for sure. I'll see if she is up in time for me to make my class.

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