I decided to leave Lutsen last night at bedtime. The idea of getting up this morning, packing and driving 4 plus hours while the kids were bright eyed did not sound fun; plus I like night driving. But I did not like it last night. After we hit Duluth, we also hit a windy snow storm the entire way until we arrived in the Metro. I could barely see the road for most of the way, and I was going between 40-50 mph at the most, which is painful for a speedster like me. We got home just after 1:00 a.m. and my back was aching from the stressful driving. Akila did not fall asleep. Wow. But, she was very good and I am so thankful for that. I am also thankful that she slept today until 11:20.
She did have a pretty difficult time at Lutsen. Juli has 2 teenagers, and 2 little girls, Eva who is 8 and Isadora who is almost 7. The added stimulation was just too much, I guess. We swam each day, in a pool which seemed toxic. We would swim in the morning and we would be the only ones in the pool and it worked out. Then in the afternoon, there were lots of people in there and the steam from the hottub and something else, made it steamy and weird, to the point where ours eyes burned (even if not swimming) and the kids were all coughing. Two of them threw up. Strange.
Akila just wanted to play one-on-one with Eva the entire time, and couldn't understand why Eva wasn't interested in this after Akila pinched her and called her names and was just down right mean constantly. The 12 of us were packed in a two bedroom condo which was beautiful, but there just wasn't enough space to have some seperation, which is key for Akila.
Each morning before school at our house, I keep Akila upstairs to get ready and even eat breakfast, while the other 3 kids are downstairs. I run between the two groups. This keeps the most peace. August and Jade, Juli's teenagers, each had a friend with them. I'm sure they are wondering what in the world my problem is. It is always interesting to see people's reaction to Akila's behavior's, and our response to her which is different to how we respond to children who's brain is not damaged from alcohol. It is a constant struggle within me to get over the looks and judgement, because honestly, I have judged many people over my lifetime who may have easily been struggling with an FASD child. It is another lesson the Lord has been working on with me, to stop being so judgemental.
So, today has been a pretty good day. Akila slept in, had her meds, put some makeup on me (we exchanged Christmas presents finally with Juli's family and they gave Akila a little girl make-up case), did her entire homework packet and has been playing pretty nicely. Only one major melt down and that is pretty good (although the day is not over). I'm glad we came home last night, even considering my back is still aching today from the drive.
143 days....Weird Goal, huh?
3 days ago