Abstract vs. concrete

I picked Akila up from an after school program yesterday so I could get her to the crisis home earlier than normal. They were having their Halloween party at the metro office and Akila wanted to go. She was in a good mood, happy to see me. We were walking down the hall and she showed me she had a big piece of tag board and said she needed to work on a project for tomorrow. I said, "Oh, you have homework, cool. You can work on it after the Halloween party." She very angrily yelled at me "I don't have homework STUPID, I have a project!!!" I said calmly, "Oh cool, you have a project." She then called me an idiot and several other names, had a horrible scowl on her face, and was mad the rest of the time I was with her.

I wasn't bothered that she was upset that I used the term homework and she was stuck on a project, not knowing that if she is working on the project at home it then falls under the umbrella of homework. We work hard to try not to use abstract concepts with Akila as we know that these kind of terms are hard for FASD kids to understand and that they can get stuck on an abstract term. I did ask her to try again and told her a better way of letting me know it was a project was to say CALMLY, "No mom, it is a project not homework." I told her that this would have helped me to better understand what I had said that was wrong instead of yelling and calling names. She just got more mad and called me more names, I will not type them.

The entire ride to the crisis home, she was whining/sobbing/complaining. What is a bummer, is that this is just how she was all summer, it is like she is mad at the world. Nothing makes her happy. She will find the piddliest thing to obsess on and be mad about. I think the honeymoon is over at the crisis home. This is partly a med thing, but it is more her being comfortable and letting it all out.

It is a bummer. A few weeks ago, I was looking forward hanging out with her as she was so enjoyable. Not anymore. She is now whining and complaining the whole time. When she calls, 75% of the time all she does is complain and whine. It is so nice to just be able to hang up when she gets rude and elevated on the phone, a nice aspect of this bit of respite.

Today, I picked her up from school to go to a Dr. appt. In the van, before she got to her state of anger, she was telling me that she saw Zeke at school today. She was actually very cute, saying that he is a "precious brother" and talking about her love for him. Then she was calling him her little tootsie roll because he is brown like a tootsie roll. Very cute, for a few minutes. Then the anger came. We are increasing her new med to see if it helps at all. I am hopeful, but have my eyes wide open.