Thursday, August 25, 2011

The game

Things have been rough lately. Really rough. Akila's raging has escalated. She has been very violent the last couple of weeks. I have been on the phone with our social worker, psychiatrist, friends, and others. Trying to figure out options. It is hard to know what to do.

Her behavior is taking a toll on all of us. It is hard on the other kids, and we are really starting to notice it. Our social worker told us we need to start calling the county crisis line. We did this weekend. It was lame. Took them so long to get to our house. By the time they got here, Akila was fairly calm. They just gave us some referrals.

Akila is not on a waiver, and this is a bummer. To get on a waiver, we have to jump through some more hoops. So we are playing the game and jumping through hoops now. We will probably have to do this for a good 6-9 or 12 months before we will be able to truly get the services that Akila needs. Which I'm not sure of what that really even is.

We did go to a local mental health facility this evening for a needs assessment. They recommended a 3 week day treatment for her. Not sure if we are going to do it or not. Timing is not the best, missing the first few weeks of school- they do school within it, but still. Then I struggle with therapy anyway. When you're dealing with brain damage, therapy and counseling seems so hopeless and useless. I know that most of you think that sounds callous and cold, but it is kind of the cold hard reality of life with a FASD kiddo.

I'm not saying she isn't worth effort, or anything like that. I'm just saying that the brain is wired so differently, and that the majority of therapy and counseling, just seems to bounce right off of her. I feel like the county should be giving us a medal for not wasting their money for the past 12 years and start providing us the support we need right now, instead of making us play their game, waste a bunch of our tax payer dollars over the next 6-12 months as we cross their t's and dot their i's and then offer us the services that we should get now.

Do I sound bitter? Tired? I am. Sorry.


Anonymous said...

Bitter? Tired? deserve to feel that way. I'm amazed at the love parents have for their children and how much they give give give trying to find solutions to problems that are perhaps ones without solutions. For me, honestly, it's been difficult for me not to get angry at the child for not being able to behave or get-it-together or calm down or to stop doing whatever they are doing that is not acceptable...and then I pause...long after the moment unfortunately...and recall that they can't help it. I'm just entering the early part of this journey - starting with assessments in hopes of some direction to explain what's the reason/cause for the behaviours our children have or don't have as the case may be. It may be a long uphill hike but I'm up for the task because I have God on my side.

AKBrady said...

I think we do the best we can for our kids, giving them what THEY need, not what society, or even we as parents, think they need. You will do what you need to, and I know without guilt, because you are an amazing woman.
I learned long ago to do what I had to for the entire family's sake, and not just my son's. We have to live our lives, too, in the most positive way we can, in spite, or because of, our son's issues.

Kari said...

I don't think you sound bitter or hopeless when you express your concerns about therapy. You know that the damage is deeper in her brain than what therapy typically even touches.

Please know that you are in my prayers and that I am a phone call away anytime you want to talk. ~Kari