This is Akila playing with her Barbie's in the living room. It is a mess, and we are not allowed to touch it or move anything. And yet we get in big trouble if someone accidentally steps on a piece and breaks it.
What is amazing is the length of time she can play with these, and I mean by herself. She played with them the majority of the day yesterday. She woke up and has been playing with them for 30 minutes already, and hasn't even taken her morning meds. At some point today, Imani will be gracious and play with her for awhile. It is never long enough in Akila's mind, but I am always very thankful and proud of Imani for doing it, as she does not like dolls very much.
I am thankful that Akila has the ability to entertain herself for periods of time. It would be really smooth if she were not bothered by the rest of us breathing, let alone walking through the room to go to a different room, or jumping on the floor above her. I think I may have mentioned before that we have big problems over her trying to find a certain barbie accessory, like a shoe. If she can't find it immediately, the entire family is accused of stealing it in an attempt to "terrorize" her. Everything has to be halted and we need to search for the missing item. When I am not willing to stop everything and help her find an item, look out. We are sure to end up in a physical altercation. She is usually happy with just an attempt, if unsuccessful in the search, she will be mad and have some more choice words, but she usually won't get physical.
She of course remembers every detail of how a certain barbie came in the package, and wants to find the original shoe or earring they were wearing when they were new. She will end up spending forever trying to get all the pieces she wants to play with, and then when it is bedtime or time to go, she freaks out because she hasn't gotten to play yet. This really confused me for awhile, as she had been playing with them for hours, literally (while she takes frequent breaks to yell and scream at us for living). I then realized that she was upset as she had spent the majority of the time gathering the items she wanted, and didn't end up playing with them as much as she wanted.
But, this Christmas season, I am truly thankful that Akila is home. I am thankful that she has not gotten as violent as she was before she went to the crisis home in early September. I am thankful that she is playing well even though there are plenty of hiccups, her ability to play is a true blessing for which I am thankful.
2 comments:
Merry Christmas,
I appreciate the opportunity to learn more about FASD from your blog. I was identifying with this particular post this morning. I'm wondering how you maintain the other children's self-esteem, good nature, and joy without having the unwanted behaviours rubbing off on them. We're experiencing that in our home and I see it spreading more and more out of shear frustration from our other children. Many thanks!
Merry Christmas to you as well! We try to have lots of discussions with the other 3 kids on how they are feeling. We do individual date nights where the one child is the total focus. We are blessed enough to have PCA help and we have the PCA's take Akila out of the house to give us all a break. This is often when we will have some mini discussions. We have been fortunate enough that her behaviors have never rubbed off on them. We talk about that, when she swears for example we will talk about it and how her brain can't really control it, but theirs can. We also weekly talk about the difference between fair and equal. When Akila was gone Sept-Nov. at a crisis home, the other 3 kids were ready for her to come home by the end of the first week and she was gone for 3 months. Kids are amazing in their ability to forgive, bounce back, and their loyalty. It is always one of my greatest fears though, how they are handling the situation and how it will effect them in the long run.
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