I know that typical families, often try to make Mother's Day special, for mom. Kids will usually try to be on their best behavior, maybe be a bit more helpful, and stuff like that. That is not how it is in families like mine. FASD does not take the day off to honor moms.
Kari wrote a post that explains it well. Michael tried really hard, he had a deal with Akila that she was going to be on her best behavior. Didn't last long. My day started off with Zeke wetting his bed (too much to drink late last night- should have paid more attention) at 4:30. Akila got up at 5:15. Much fighting and arguing by kids by 7:30 am, while I was still trying to lay in bed.
Went out to lunch after church, and the kids all did well for the meal. That was lovely. Got home, about 10 minutes before rage #1 hit. Kitchen destroyed, things swiped off counters. Lots of fun. Ended up playing cards with Akila to try and get her off her game, or on her game, depending on how you look at it. Played cards on and off several times throughout the day, to distract her from whatever was currently making her mad.
Yesterday, at lunchtime, Akila was raging for food and did not like what we were having. I actually said she could have something else (when she is in rage mode, or near rage mode- her brain takes over, and she becomes a very picky eater- she normally is not). I gave her 2 choices, she didn't like them. She raged. She went nuts. She wanted something I did not have. I suggested something else. Eventually, she had 4 choices. She kept on raging that she was hungry. I could have made her something of my choosing, but it would have ended up on the wall.
I finally had the idea of writing the four choices on a pieces of paper and choosing one out of a hat. She liked the idea. As I was writing them down, she decided she wanted sushi. Hugh? Definitely don't have sushi. Raging started over. Finally got her to draw. She chose pizza rolls. Got mad as they are too spicy. Fine I said, draw something else. She did, and was happy with her choice. As I was boiling pasta, she stood beside me sobbing that she was hungry. I offered yogurt, grapes, apples, carrots, etc. She didn't want anything I could offer. She just sobbed and raged. Couldn't get that stupid pasta done quickly enough.
So anyway, the majority of today was rage free, due to lots of card games. I do feel blessed to be a mom, and to be a mom to all 4 of my kids. I was thinking a lot of my mom today, and thinking about how hard it would be for her to be around our family with all the odd dynamics. She was a great mom, but patience was not a strength of hers. It really isn't one of my strengths either, it is something I need to pray for each day. I did it multiple times today, as Akila was cursing, and swiping my counters clean. And I will do it again tomorrow, and hopefully for many years to come.
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