Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Eating alone

On Monday, I was at our school helping with the book fair. When I was leaving, I was walking through the cafeteria and it was Akila's lunch time. She was sitting by herself eating lunch. This of course broke my heart. I know at the beginning of the year, she had been sitting at Imani's table with Imani's friends. I know that Imani's friends had gotten sick of this and Imani had struggled with this.

This is part of the reason why I was wanting Imani to be able to go to a different school next year. I love that she looks out for Akila, and is there for her. But I also don't want her to grow up always feeling the pressure to be looking out for Akila and putting her own needs aside. She is such a sweet girl, that I think she would too often neglect herself.

Anyway. I watched Akila for a little bit. Then I went and sat down with her. The odd thing, is that she doesn't even really seem to be bothered that she is sitting by herself. She seemed happy that I was there. Even as I am typing now, this is making me cry. I long for her to have friends. I long for her to have the social connections that I do know she wants, but doesn't understand how to build, or keep. The after school rages on Fridays that she has because she wants to call somebody for a sleepover. The after school rages she has because she wants to go to a different school where the kids are nicer.

She is not able to communicate that she wants someone to sit with her at lunch. Or that it makes her sad to sit alone. But she is able to say that she wants to go to a new school, and I think this is because of things like sitting alone at lunch. She isn't able to make the connection of course that she is sitting alone because she stole something from many of the kids, or called them names, or hit them, or was sitting at lunch and picking her skin and grossed them out, or other things like that.

I was bothered all night on Monday night by this. I was thinking about calling or emailing the social worker to see if she could do some friendship groups or something to try to build some relationships within the 6th grade girls or something. She is a new social worker to the building this year, and I have only met her once in September (she is very good and a very wise and experienced worker though). I was a the school again yesterday for the book fair, and I happened to run into her and she mentioned Akila and how her intern had been working weekly with Akila. Perfect opportunity for me. I mentioned the lunch thing and she said she would get on it. I am so thankful for a school who is always willing to support my child.

1 comment:

Kari said...

They are working on putting together a "lunch bunch" group at our daughter's school now. She sits alone, too. It breaks my heart.

Giving FASD the finger again. ~Kari