Friday, July 2, 2010

New friend

You just can't ever have enough friends. And I have learned something new about that over the last 5 years. You just can't have enough friends who parent challenging kids. I haven't really lost any friendships like many people have due to parenting a very challenging child, but some friendships have grown much more distant and surfacey as most parents of typical kids do not understand what it is like.

I have many friends now who parent challenging children. If you're reading this, you might be one of them. And I may have never met you. But I consider you my friend. One of my good friends calls you my fake friends. But the truth is, you know more about my family, my thoughts than she does. I know more about your family and thoughts than I do of hers. It is a strange thing, but it has been an answer to prayers.

Yesterday, I got to meet one of my "fake friends" (I don't think you guys are fake, but I do think it sounds funny!). Linda and I met, and she blogged about it here. I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. Now, she is my "real friend". I hope I don't scare her off, she has already been a great resource to me and I know she will be in the future. Her daughter, DQ, who just turned 18, is so much like Akila I can't even explain it. We are in for a bumpy ride, and I am glad I have some new friends to ride with.


GB's Mom said...

How wonderful to meet in person!

Anonymous said...

Hi. I just wanted to thank you so much for your honesty in sharing your life like you do. I am an adoptive mom who by all accounts had a very easy adoption so far...our son has been with us for 4 years. But I struggle so much with my thoughts and our bonding like I never thought I would, and the only place I have felt real honesty is here and also Dorothy's blog (Suburban Mom) That is how I found out about your blog. I don't think you will ever know how many people have been comforted by your willingness to share and be honest about the hard parts and hard thoughts on adoption. I feel very alone with my "real friends" in that they would never understand the things I am feeling...there are so many whose adoptions on the outside look like a having "fake" friends like you is an incredible blessing...because maybe it takes a fake friend to really tell it like it is, and can be. I am thankful to God for you. And am praying for you and your precious family.

the johnson crew said...

how fun! glad you had a good time. - i know how much i enjoyed meeting a few "Fake friends" at the conference.

Linda B said...

I'm afraid you are going to be stuck with me now! I loved meeting you and was amazed at how jazzed I was all afternoon because of it. So don't worry about scaring me away....this fake friend is here to stay! I really want to help you (and anyone else who is on this ride)and assure you that it's the scariest ride in the park but you won't fall out.