Imani really wanted a sewing machine for Christmas. I said no. Our neighbor/Grandma, Kathy, has sewed with the kids and they all love it. I don't love to sew. I actually, really, kind of, can't stand to sew. I don't mean anything mean to all of you who love to sew. I think it is an art. And I am not artsy. And I have no patience or tolerance for art. That, is, for creating it myself. I do appreciate art. I just don't like to create it.
So, Imani wants a sewing machine and I said no. Couple of reasons. One, and the big one, is Akila. She will undoubtedly have a hard time with a sewing machine. She will be jealous. She will try to sabotage it. And Akila, definitely could not handle it without constant help. Which, as I mentioned, is something I hate. Her fine motor skills lack also. Not fun.
Anyway, I had told Imani that once she became more skilled with a machine, I would be more open to the idea. But for me, to every 5 minutes, be going to help her thread it, our unjam it, or whatever you call all that stuff, would drive me nuts. I know. Bad mom. But that is who I am. The kids have a zillion times, done some hand sewing projects. I have to help them get it started, make the knot, etc. Can't stand it. Bad mom.
Kathy and I talked about Imani using her old machine (she has a fancy newer model, and a really nice older model- not like the really old one that I have from my mother-in-law), and she is going to sometime help Imani get more familiar with it so she can be more independent with it. But here is what happened today.
Imani came home with a letter to Santa that she was graded on . She got 19.5 out of 20 points. It is a good letter. Here it is:
Dear Mr. Claus:
I hope Rudolph is still shining his bright nose. I'm sending this request to get a sewing machine. I think I deserve this because I am nice to my family even though they can be annoying.
I was going to use my neighbor's other sewing machine, but she said no (not because she doesn't trust me). I would share with my siblings and family and my friends. I also will keep it in good hsape and only ask for help when my mom isn't busy.
Say hi to Mrs. Claus for me!
Enclosure: Information on sewing machine
She then included a sheet printed from the interned with info on a sewing machine, with the price and all. Wow, I am a bad mom!!! She would only bother me when I'm not busy? Wow. Kathy was willing to let Imani bring the sewing machine over to our house, and I did say no. I just know Akila would freak out, and Imani still has not been responsible enough to keep her room locked.
It is hard to see how Akila's FASD effects the entire family. From the fact that I am worried about how she will handle the sewing machine and what she will do with it, to the fact that I have spent all my patience on her issues, and don't have any left for a sewing machine. Her birthday is in June. She may be ready by then. So may I.