Thursday, January 13, 2011

My other fav, hair. NOT!

As you know if you have read my blog for very long, I hate dealing with Akila's hair. It is challenging for most white women to figure out how to care for and maintain black hair as it is so different. Throw FASD into the mix, and it is not a pretty picture.

Akila has always had issues with hair breakage. When she was a baby, she had a round mohawk on the top of her head. Many babies lose their hair from laying on their back, but hers was different. And it lasted for years. I'll have to dig up some pics and scan them someday. Anyway, with her obsession with her hair, and her behavioral issues, it is just exhausting.

Well, I got another call from Children's Hospital for a photo shoot. For billboards I think. This is a lot of fun, a good opportunity, and a nice way to get some professional pictures for free. But it is also adds an added level of work, since we have the hair issues.

Imani is due for getting her locks tightened, and the boys both need a haircut. I was planning on having Akila's hair braided or something this weekend. But I would really like to start using a stylist and a salon. Akila has been begging to go to a hair salon for over a year. A new one opened by our house this summer and it looked really nice. Some hair salons in North Mpls, are not the most modern. This new one was big, and modern and inviting looking.

I drove over there today to talk to them about Akila. I loved the place. It is a little intimidating for a white woman to walk into a black hair salon, but it was easy. They were very nice. We decided that I would bring Akila back today after school so they could see her hair.

Being the foolish mom that I am, I thought she would be thrilled. And, actually, she was. Until we got there. The lady was talking about doing some braids into a drawstring pony. Akila was talking about weave. The stylist and I both explained (me for the millionth time), that weave is too mature of a look for her, and she won't be getting that. Well, this ticked her off. Enter attitude.

Her hair is also damaged enough, that we have to be careful with it. She didn't want anything to do with it. She sat on a chair and kicked me quietly and smoothly. She sat their angry with an attitude. She was not raging. She was not overtly rude. But she did not look happy. I set up an appt for Imani to get her locks tightened, and the boys to get hair cuts. They are all 4 going to be there at the same time actually. Nice.

We left. She was even more mad. Got home. Mad. And, the best part is, that the lovely bus driver set her up for this bad mood.

I have been working with the school for one year now, on trying to get an assigned seat for Akila on the bus. Who knew it would be so hard. The driver last year said she didn't need it. Wouldn't do it. The school told the bus company they would not support any behavior reports for the entire bus if they would not abide by this request.

New bus driver this year. Has been asked at least 4 times to give Akila an assigned seat. Never happens. Today, Akila's aide got on the bus and told her Akila needed an assigned seat. Bus pulled off, driver let Akila get out of her seat. When kids were getting off of the bus, the bus driver told Akila that that lady (meaning her aide), isn't the boss of her and can't tell her where to sit. I'm steaming.

Why is it that difficult to enforce an assigned seat? To my knowledge, she hasn't even really tried. She just keeps saying that Akila doesn't need one. She is not the biggest problem on the bus. Ever heard of prevention lady? Ticking time bomb?

I would also like to thank her. Akila came in the door furious. The hair salon was a temporary band-aid to her anger. She is still in a funk. She is mad at the aide, whom she loves dearly. But this bus driver saying that aide shouldn't tell her where to sit, has Akila mad. Me too actually.


the johnson crew said...

what are these bus drivers thinking? i hated putting our kids on the bus. so many things happened to them. and the bus driver has to control all 50 kids on the bus with no other adult to help. we had many incidents on the bus where other kids did awful things to our kids. (not that our kids were perfect.) but there is no one to supervise. - our new school is right next to jason's work, and so he just brings them in and takes them home every day.

sounds like a cool salon.

dorothy said...

Im thinking we should just throw a couple of my more challenging kiddos on the bus with A and we can see just how long the driver can stand the lack of assigned seating. I'm sure one of them would sit in that first row and do a little purse fliching...might change the tune a little. Think they would notice a group of homeschoolers just riding along for the free breakfast and then leaving fo the day?