Saturday, January 28, 2012

To see or not to see

Akila did great tonight at rehearsal. I am very glad, although, sadly, there is always a tiny, very tiny, part of me that wants others to see the stuff I blog about and share about. I know sometimes people think I must be stretching the truth, or even doing something wrong, when she behaves so well in public.

We were there from just after 4:00 pm until 10:00 pm. She was back stage the majority of the time, and according to the back stage moms, her behavior was good. She danced nicely, and was where she was suppose to be at the right time. At the ticket table, I was talking with some dance moms, who are aware of Akila's issues, and even read the blog from time to time. They laughed with me about how every time they see her, she is so nice and polite.

I am truly grateful that the majority of the world does not get to see, or have to see, her challenging side. But there is that ever so tiny part of me that wants people to be able to see it. Like I blogged about the therapist witnessing her issues just over a week ago. Yet, when people do get to see it, it is embarrassing and frustrating. I guess a good number of people have seen some of her edginess. I am guessing they will tomorrow. But what they see, is her coming up to me at the ticket table where I am working and being a demanding snot who will get quite mad if I don't give her what she needs. That is about the most they usually see. Unless they want her for a weekend. Then they would see more. Anyone game? :)


Laura said...

Oh I KNOW the feeling...wishing people could just see what its really like!! praying for you!

Blessed said...

Barb, I just wanted to let you know I wrote a snippet about you and Dorothy today--FYI. : )

I hope you have some peace in your home today.

Carrie said...

Just came home to a garbled message from my husband. But I think I put it together. I am praying for you!

Donut Diva said...

Enjoy the good moments, I would take them over the embarrasing ones any day of the week. Who cares if they think I am making up what happens at home. I totally hate the feeling of being out in public and having no control of my daughter and everyone looks at me with the 'what a terrible parent' eyes.

Anonymous said...

You are an awesome, awesome mom. And in my thoughts/prayers. Your fam too.