If we place her on our own, our private insurance would have to pay- I haven't called them yet to see how that would work. But it would cost us $5,000 for sure to meet the deductible. And they would probably not approve her there as long as she needed to be there. I emailed our social worker on Sunday night, and was pretty honest about how it is taking every ounce of restraint I have to not smack Akila back. Wondered if they would move more quickly if I did. Wondered if I should call child protection since Akila is abusing our other kids. She did not acknowledge or respond to those questions. Shocking. Just told me it is a process and takes time. And by the way, how is Akila doing in school, she asked. So I will answer that she is doing OK in school, which makes us look like we suck. Sigh.
She is not home from dance yet with our fabulous new PCA. I can't wait. Waiting is all I am doing lately.
5 comments:
Hi Barb, it's got to be agonizing the waiting and wondering. I wanted to jump in and just say to be careful of using her abuse against your other children, not because its not there but because the way I've seen the system work in other families... they often remove all the children initially..then they look into the causes and parental responsibility later. I would not wish that upon anyone, tread lightly even though your at the end of your rope.
You do not suck, you have to work harder to parent than anyone I know. Call juvenile detention, they can keep her until they find a placement and your cost will be the daily rate of your adoption subsidy for her, I found this out by accident and almost paid the full bill which was ten times what we ended up paying. That is also the amount you will pay if she is placed anywhere by the county.
Thanks for continuing to post, we are all thinking of you and praying for a solution.
Dear Barb, I've just come to your blog for the first time. Our adopted daughter, Toots, is 17, and we are a few years down the road from you, in terms of repeated hospitalizations and placements. Toots has not been diagnosed with FASD, though I think she meets the criteria. She has received a bunch of other psych diagnoses.
I feel for you, having gone through years of the same stuff. Hope you are able to get a good placement for Akila soon. I'm in New York, but I wish I could come over to your house and help in whatever way possible. I will add Akila and all of you to my prayers.
I'm at http://adventureswithtootsandtheninja.blogspot.com, if you have a chance to visit.
This is the exact thing we went through. So so so frustrating. the only appropriate place was out of state so we ended up doing that. The county worker said MA will cover it. Guess what? It didn't. I'll be using a walker and wearing orthopedic shoes before that is paid off. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You are in my prayers.
Linda
I'm a bit leary of CPS too. Never know how they will actually respond even though you have documented well what is going on with Akila. Another thought I had was, what about CINS? That's short for Child in Need of Supervision. I'm not sure what letters your state use but it is CINS in our state. Basically you sign some papers testifying that this is a child who need supervision and that you cannot provide the supervision she needs. The judge will then decide on where to send her. Maybe that will help?
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