Sunday, January 8, 2012

Twilight Zone

Michael has been talking about remembering an episode of the Twilight Zone where a child ruled a small town. He found it on Netflix and we watched it. The parallels to our life are strewn all over in this 24 minute episode. It is episode 73 in case you're interested, it is on Netflix (Season 3).

It is obviously more extreme than our life. The whole world except a small town has been wiped out, disappeared. And in this small town, a little boy named Anthony runs the place. He can read minds, and when he doesn't get what he wants, there is a price to pay (somehow he makes people disappear and go into a corn field forever, I think like statues or something). Obviously, Akila doesn't have these kind of issues, but they way that people act around this boy is what hit home with us.

Everybody walked around on egg shells around this boy. He doesn't like loud noises, so they were super paranoid of making noise. Everybody has to be happy around him and think happy thoughts so he doesn't get mad. One lady said it was "terribly hot" day outside, and a different character was saying no, no it isn't. He was trying not to make the boy mad. In one scene, a man was given a gift of a record and he wanted to play it to listen to the music. But they boy doesn't like music with words, so he said he didn't want to. The town is running out of soap and other supplies, since they have no more electricity, automobiles and are the only people left in the world. Anthony didn't like electricity and cars so he made them not work.

At one point, the man who received the birthday gift started to drink alcohol and was getting a little drunk. He then got loose with his lips and was saying that there were only 2 more bottles of alcohol left in town because of the boy. The boy eventually turned this man into a jack-in-the-box and put him in the corn field.

The parallels, are not being able to say what you want, having to choose your words so carefully, and agreeing with things that you know are wrong. Akila is so volatile right now, that we are all walking on egg shells. I find the kids all the time correcting each other and trying to help each other phrase things so it won't make Akila mad. They can be on the opposite side of the house, and if she hears a tiny conflict they are having, she comes running through the house and starts giving them heck.

This town felt like they were being held hostage by this young boy. We often feel the same way. Akila had to take a shower today. Had to. I didn't tell her she had to. I started off this morning asking her what time she would like to take her shower. She said later. Wouldn't get specific. Got yucky each time I brought it up. After dinner, I had to tell her that she would not be able to play dolls with Imani until she showered. She went berserk.

Big time berserk. Kicking, hit me in the face, pinching, and other things. I remained calm for awhile, but eventually I had to restrain her as she was attacking too much. As I was restraining her, she got her teeth on my forearm right above the wrist and was biting down hard. To get her to unclamp from me, I gave her a thump on the side of the head. Not a hit, but a thump. I shouldn't even be admitting this on the blog, but I am. If child protection wants to come out, I'm ok with that. She was spewing all kinds of nutty things out of her mouth. She gets totally manic during these times. Accusing me of all kinds of things. At the crisis home, while being restrained one time, she was accusing a staff of raping her. She has done that with me before as well. Tonight she said I gave her a black eye. I was nowhere near her eye. The things that she says and makes up are wild.

She was saying I broke her arm also. Not at all true. Last week Michael had to restrain her when I was gone, and she was obsessed for days that he broke a finger of hers. Had to show everyone how it was swollen. Didn't look swollen to me, but I agreed with her. Didn't want to end up in the corn field. She hit, kicked and pinched him. But she was obsessed with how her finger hurt. She even went to the nurses office. Would love to hear what she told the nurse.

After church, Michael and I were both in the kitchen making brunch. Zeke was helping us. She came into the kitchen, and started yelling at Zeke for how he was stirring the hash browns. He was doing it perfectly. But she had to yell at him. Then she had to push him. I could not get her out of the kitchen. She just wanted to stand there and yell. I was looking all over the house for her teddy bear as the OT suggested using it as a symbol that she needs to go to her room and take a break. Akila liked the idea. I knew it wouldn't work. But I like to try these great ideas to show how smart I am. Ha. No, I will try stuff.

I found the bear, brought it to her. She got more elevated. Didn't help. While I was searching for the bear, she also hit Zeke. She has a thing for Zeke. He can't do anything right. She constantly yells at him. Poor thing, he is the sweetest thing too. Then she is totally obsessed with Imani and thinks Imani is her personal playmate 24/7. Imani is sick of it. Hezekiah just explodes at her and smarts her off all the time which elevates her. Then I have to control myself not to be annoyed with him.

It is hard, so hard. I was hit in the face twice today, kicked 7 times, pushed 5 times, pinched and scratched a ton during the restraint, and hit in the back, shoulder, arms and gut at least 15 times. How much do you put up with this? Meds are obviously not working. I am going to have to call our social worker this week. Not sure if much is going to happen though. It does feel like we are living in the Twilight Zone.


Jen said...

We are praying for you and your family.

Blessed said...

Sigh. My heart is going out to you this morning. All of you. I am praying too.

Anonymous said...

This is so hard to even read about. I lived with a verbally abusive adult for some time but I had the option to leave, your situation is more complicated. I have seen that Twilight Zone episode and can understand your thoughts about it. Maybe everyone would be safer if Akila was not able to physically hurt you - how do you decide what is best? I am thinking of you and praying.

AKBrady said...

Barb, we have your back. Do what you must. This is your life, too.

dorothy said...

Except....the twilight zone ended after 50 minutes. Here if you need me - Im in a constant state of denial gathering my own medical reports here today.

Miz Kizzle said...

You and your family are living with domestic violence. It's not healthy for your other children or for you and your DH.
But you know that already.
I hope you are able to find a solution to this horrible situation.

Betsy said...

Praying for wisdom. So sad to hear, but we support you in whatever decision you make.

Carrie said...

Barb, Praying here, too.

Gloria said...

I'm sorry to be so blunt but have to say this. You are living domestic violence and that is not to be tolerate at all. If your husband was doing this to you, what Akila is doing to you, would you stay with him? You need to get her out of the house permanently. What if someday she kills one of the kids? Can you live with that? My advice is to get her out of the house immediately. You must do everything to ensure the safety of your other children and yourself first. Don't allow her to live in the house anymore. You can still love her but don't have to live with her.

* said...

I'm so sorry it's back to the same. Reading this brings back so many memories of Megan when she lived with us. It's not right that the other kids can't feel safe in their own home. You'll know when it's time to move her. But it's sounding like that time is near. Very near. Keeping you in my prayers.