Goodbye Hibeam

Our 10 month old puppy had to be put down today. We are all very sad. I don't think I have written much about him, as I was kind of in denial.

We have had aggression issues with him since the beginning. We got him on the 4th of July, and started a training class with him in August. The trainer noticed it right away and thought he might have neuro problems. I could not believe it. Seriously, a dog with neuro problems. You've got to be kidding me.

We worked hard, went to training, had some individual training with him, but he would not stop going "kujo" on us from time to time. It usually was when he had some type of food possession, a rawhide, a loaf of bread he had just stole off the counter, etc. If you got near him, he would attack you. Not bite you, attack. We thought we could maybe train it out of him. We could not.

A few weeks ago, Michael and I both agreed we would need to find a new family for him, one without kids. We were slowly going trying to figure out how to go about this, when he got sick this week. He has been throwing up (everywhere), for three days. This morning, I brought him to the vet. The vet was looking at his mouth, and Hibeam attacked and bit the vet. He has never done this, when he is not possessing something.

We put a muzzle on him, and the vet was trying to feel his tummy to see if he could tell if there was a blockage. Hibeam has ate no less than 15 socks over his short life. He often threw them up, and re-ate them, or pooped them out. You would think we could keep socks away from him, but the kids could never figure this one out. Anyway, even with a muzzle on, Hibeam was attacking the vet. He obviously wasn't biting him, but was very crazy.

The vet could not do an exam of the dog. We talked options. If he needed surgery, the vet was concerned about aftercare. The clinic/hospital could not do it due to his aggression, and we would have to force feed him some oral meds with no food for 2 or 3 days. That would not work. The vet said he would not let the dog near the kids while he is sick, due to his aggression. He weighs 50 pounds. The vet mentioned that a dog this size could do serious harm.

There would be no way to keep Akila away from the dog. We did not feel comfortable finding a new home for him, even without kids the way he attacked the vet, so Michael and I decided to have him put down. It was a really long, hard day.

The kids got home from school, we all sat down in the living room, and Michael broke the news. They did not believe us, they thought it was a joke. They ran to find him. When they saw me crying, they knew it was real. Imani took it the hardest, which we expected.

She has wanted a dog as long as I can remember. The boys both started crying also. Akila looked at all of us crying, and tried to kind of fake cry. She did have a tear run down her face, but that was it. She was more watching us all to see how she should react. Then she disappeared. I went to check, she was on the computer looking for a new dog.

When she was done on the computer, she got into me email, and emailed my brother that Hibeam died. She then went outside, and door to door to tell neighbors. She then came home to call everyone we know. Sorry if you got a call. She has told random people walking by our house.

When I think about her age being between 4-5 years old, it makes sense (she is 10 chronologically). This is similar to how the kids acted when my mom died 5 years ago. Developmentally, they weren't old enough to really react in a deep way. All I know, is that I am ready for a new day. This one stinks.