I don't have many tricks left to pull out of my hat. Last night, Akila was with one of our awesome new PCA's. Like a doorknob, I neglected to tell this PCA not to take her to a store. This PCA is a track runner for the University of Minnesota and brought Akila to the track at the U yesterday to run. Cool!
They also stopped at a store on campus. Not cool. Not her fault, my fault. PCA texted me that there was a necklace for $10 that Akila wanted. I texted back that we did not want to start that precedent. Cool, she said. Minute later, the phone rang, it was the PCA's phone. I knew this would be Akila calling to plead with me for the necklace. I did not answer. Close to an hour later, PCA texted me that Akila was going to call me again. I texted that I would not answer, as she would just escalate as I told her no about the necklace. She said that sounded like a good plan.
When they did get home, Akila started in pretty quickly about the necklace and she was mad. PCA and I both tried to distract her by talking about all the fun stuff they had did. As PCA was filling out timesheet, Akila put her fist up to punch me, but looked at PCA (who I am pretty sure did not see what Akila was doing), and decided not to hit me, but to just keep being snotty. This PCA is newer, and due to her track schedule, is not available every week so she is still in the honeymoon phase. Thank goodness.
After she left, Imani quickly jumped in to ask Akila to do the end of the night doll play that she has been totally awesome about doing the past 6 weeks or so. It worked, necklace was forgotten about. For yesterday at least.
Same PCA picked her up today to take her to her families home in Minnetonka. On the way, Akila was going on about the necklace. Once they got to Minnetonka, she forgot about it. Until they were driving home. Then when they got home, Akila was showing me some scrapbooking pages she had done at the PCA's house. They were super cute. Then she asked for a scrapbook to put them in. I don't have any.
I am horrible at crafty things. I have some photo albums, where you stick the pictures in a plastic sleeve kind of thing. She was not pleased with this. PCA and I both tried to tell her that she didn't need to do it all tonight, and stuff like that. But she was mad. She held it in until PCA left, cuz PCA is still in the honeymoon phase. Let me make this clear, the PCA is awesome, this has nothing to do with her. All of my PCA's rock. This is just our life.
After she left, Akila perseverated on a scrapbook. She wanted me to look everywhere in the house as she was sure I had one. I have 3 ring binders, but that is not what she had in mind. I got her a cute 3 ring binder, but it did not work. She was not satisfied. And she was not nice.
Then she wanted to know if I had the car seat we got her in. She was looking at the photo album with pictures of the day we met her and took her home. I said no. She was not happy. She was not nice. She wanted me to find something from when she was a baby. I told her if she took her meds I would go and look in the basement. I have a big plastic bin of her mementos from over the years and knew I could find something.
I found her baby book, which she has never seen. I knew this would be a big hit and would pacify her. But I came up and told her I had something really special, and that she needed to get her jammies on, brush her teeth and put her head scarf on (which causes issues every night). She eagerly did this. I brought up the baby book, the trick up my sleeve, and she was delighted.
Akila's world is all about Akila, more so than any child I have ever known, so this was the perfect "trick". She was in heaven.
Problem is, I am running out of tricks.
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2 comments:
When Tori was in this state of mind, I started doing "memory" books, its a on again off again project. Not sure of Akila's abilities, but was able to distract Tori and Jules sometimes by having them write out their memories that go with a picture, or an event. Maybe awesome PCA's could start her on writing down what they did together, just before they leave so she's engaged in something after they leave?
Wow, to think she had never seen her baby book--how perfect for it to bless YOU as well as her at that moment of need!
Your post made me remember when I was a kid and was babysitting, and one of the huge hits I did was bring along a tape recorder (shows you how old I am!) and the kids and I would record ourselves saying silly things or making up stories. Might she (and her siblings) have fun with something like that? Maybe recording audio books for kids in the hospital or songs to send to family members. . .
I get the feeling that Akila might be more visual, so maybe it would have to be videos? But if you had a way of teaching her to record her own videos, and thought of ideas of things she could do that would be helpful, like teaching dance steps from her dance routines or something--it would occupy her to plan what she was going to do, and during the recording, and she might get easily engrossed in watching them when she was done. . .
Now, that could just as easily be a HUGE thing you want to avoid--the whole posting videos of herself on youtube thing!!!--so this is only an idea if you have a safe way for her to do it that fits with your family values.
Just trying to think how you could use the whole narcissitic thing to work in your favor. ; )
Oh--or on "Blues Clues" they had a cute episode about kids making a "Big Book About Me." Each page was on some aspect of them--what their favorite color is, what things they like to do, etc. It is a little like the memory book just mentioned, except would take less higher brain function to complete--which might make it easier for later in the day when Akila might be more tired. And the book could be as long as it needed to be--I am sure Akila (with your/PCA's encouragement) could come up with lots of things about her that are worth a whole page. : )
Lastly, this one might make you LOL or want to throw something at me through the computer screen--but would Akila welcome a massage from you? I don't know how much she takes loving touches (esp. prolonged) but there could be so many positives out of it: her brain getting built up in positive ways from loving touch, it being a bonding thing, might relax her, she might like the attention (esp. if you together bought a special massage oil), and you might find it a little heart healing, and hey, it's better than scrapbooking. ; )
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