Akila will be going to respite for the weekend, and all 5 of the rest of us are quite relieved. I am going to pick Akila up from school today and drive her straight to respite. Looking forward to a two night break.
Two nights ago when Akila was raging, I talked with her about the place she will be moving too soon. She is still in denial. She told me I was cruel for getting rid of her, and a bunch of icky stuff like that. She thought she should have one more chance. I told her she has been given a bazillion "one more chances", but she disagreed. I told her I wasn't mad at her, that her brain could just not control her actions sometimes and that it isn't safe for her or the rest of us.
She carried on and on about one more chance. I finally gave in and said OK, one more chance. But if you hit, kick, push, bite, scratch or attempt to hurt any of us, that is your last chance. 45 minutes later, her last chance was over. She pushed me really hard. I gently reminded her of her chance, and how she had just shown me that she can't stop. She stood there, bewildered looking, and said, "I didn't touch you". And I think she truly thought that. It is like she isn't even aware of her physical aggressiveness.
It is sad. She will still want another chance, but I can't afford to give her more chances, as it is messing up the other 3 kids too much, not to mention the overwhelming stress that Michael and I are feeling. It is just so sad.
I will go
3 days ago