Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Library, safe choice, right?

You would think that taking Akila to the library would be a safe choice. Right? Well it isn't. And I don't mean because of the porn on the computers, or because of the people who are there. I mean because it has the potential to lead to rages. As does just about everything I guess. This morning, I was smacked because I put her spoon on the table instead of directly in the bowl of cereal. But I digress.

The PCA's have been taking her to the library a lot lately, and I think that is a great idea. Don't get me wrong (especially you awesome PCA's who might be reading this), I am OK with her going to the library. I do dread the books she comes home with sometimes though. Am I too critical? Possibly. I'm just so burnt out I guess.

She loves to get craft books. Great idea, right? No. The answer is no. For several reasons. One, I am not crafty at all and I hate doing crafts, but that is not the reason. I will stretch myself and do some crafty stuff with her, if it keeps her occupied and happy sometimes. The problem, is that you have to do it when she wants to and on her terms, or all heck breaks loose. Another problem, is that whatever is being made, has to look exactly like the picture in the book, or she goes totally nuts. Another problem, is that we usually don't have all of the materials listed that are needed. And you cannot substitute things easily with Akila, she is too black and white in her thinking, too concrete.

I have told her, that she can do the crafts with one of the PCA's. For example, a few weeks ago, she came home with several craft books. After the PCA left, she was looking at them, right before bedtime. She found a dollhouse she wanted to make out of tissue boxes. I told her she could do it the next night with the PCA. She flipped. She perseverated. It was not pretty. I said we would get it started as we did have some time to shoot (this is what I had initially said, and that she could finish it with the PCA).

We only had one empty tissue in the recycling. This was not good, the picture showed 3. I tried to substitute some other boxes, cereal boxes and things like that. Didn't work. Arm flapping, swearing, etc. It was not fun. It never is.

I did mention to the PCA that if it is possible to steer her away from the craft books, that would be great, but not to make a big deal out of it (rages in the library are not fun). Last night they went to the library after Akila refused to go to dance and threatened to kill the PCA.

She did not come home with craft books. She came home with sex books. Great improvement. Great. I am still laughing about it. I was telling my friend Julie about it this morning and we almost fell out of our chairs laughing. Again, this is not judgement on the PCA. If I had brought her, we would have come home with the sex books more than likely.

The books are books for kids and teens which teach about sex. We have several books like them. She was in the science area and was looking at books on the digestive system and things like that, when she saw these books. She of course gravitated to them.

We have had the sex talk with Akila, she knows how it works and all about it. Many kids her age are curious about sex, this is quite natural. I get this. But, it is different with Akila. Can't completely explain it, but with no impulse control, she has always been highly sexualized, and interested beyond the normal 12 year old in sex.

I didn't make a big deal out of the books. I looked them over, and they were just fine. She was looking at them at bedtime and this is fine. The main problem with them, is that this could start a "I'm obsessed with and stuck on sexual issues" phase for Akila. She always goes through phases. She will barely steal at all for a month, and then go on a stealing bender for two weeks. She won't be interested at all in sex, and then will try to get onto po@rno*graphy on the computer several times in a week when she hasn't tried to for months.

So, I am hoping we are not entering another phase here. I just don't have the energy.

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