Our new PCA was working, and Akila started to perseverate on wanting something new. She knows that we have a locked room in our nasty basement that has tools, junk, and gift stuff in it. Gifts that I buy on clearance or for really cheap and store. Some are things for our kids next bdays, some are for when they are invited to friend's bday parties. Akila wanted me to get her something from the room.
And she would not stop focusing on this idea. The fabulous PCA did a fantastic job of trying to distract her, to no avail. She eventually started to kick and hit me a bit, and the PCA tried harder to distract. It is a very awkward situation, for both of us. It has happened with other PCA's. I know it has to be weird for them to see her hitting and kicking me and to feel helpless. Welcome to our world.
At one point, Akila took a swing at my face (didn't connect at all), and I grabbed her wrists and was asking her if she wanted to go play, or have me restrain her- as she was getting close to needing to be restrained if she were to keep on escalating. She was still fighting my restraint of her wrists, and started to sob a bit that she wanted to go home (to her birth home- where she never lived, but will focus on when she is upset). The PCA was standing behind her and put her hands on Akila's shoulders and started to rub them.
Akila melted. She just kept on sobbing about going home, and that I am her fake mom. After a minute or so, I left the room and went to hang out with the boys. The PCA continued, and eventually guided Akila into the kitchen for her evening meds. Brilliant! What is so cool about this, is that if I or Michael were to do the same thing (which we have tried before), it would have escalated her. It might not work the next time either, but it worked this time, and I am so thankful for that. I did not want to restrain her. I never want to restrain her.
From her couple of hits she got on me, I had a few red marks on my forearm, where you could see her finger tracks. Later on, I saw her eye catch the finger tracks and stare at them. She said nothing nor did I. Again, it was a fairly mellow night thanks to a fantastic PCA, but nonetheless, I am sad the streak is over.
2 comments:
I'm sorry your streak is over. Glad your PCA was able to help. Isn't it great when we come across a person who has the "touch", isn't involved in the family dynamic, and is able to help? We have been lucky to have a few of those over the years.
Oh, what I would give for someone with that touch!
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